So Much More Than Music

Click here for the MMI-14 YouTube Playlist

There are rare times when I am able to take time from my busy work and home life to purposefully work on my own professional and personal development. ACPA’s 2012 Donna Bourassa Mid-Level Management Institute is one of those rare times. These past four days 70 of my colleagues in the field and I have been challenged, supported and encouraged. “Going into its 14th year, the Donna M. Bourassa Mid-Level Management Institute is an educational program for those desiring to strengthen their skills and understand changing campus dynamics in order to advance in the profession” (http://www2.myacpa.org/career-advancement/donna-m-bourassa-mid-level-management-institute). We have spent intentional time digging below the surface level to gain clarity about who we are as human beings, managers, and active keepers of our profession.

As we entered the room to begin the day this morning, for the first time during the institute, music filled the air. The music began to do what music does, and as the variety of songs played, one by one, we began to smile, sway, snap, hum and a few of us even took to the aisle to dance a few steps.

Since I was a little girl music has been my friend. It meets me where I am and sits with me or it calls me out of one space into another. It settles me when I am dishevelved. It moves me when I am paralyzed. It coaches and reminds me that I am invincible, flexible, and that anything is possible. It helps me separate myself from what I know is not best for me and it proves to me that the one I call stranger is connected to me through like experiences and similar interests.

As our sway and hums dissolved and we turned to our work for the day, the feeling of comfort and connection lingered. It still does. I know it was more than the music but the shared stories and the investment given not only to this profession, but to traveling this journey as our best selves with authenticity.

As we leave this space we return to our colleagues and families forever changed and we share our music with you.

The 2012 MMI Playlist
submitted by members of the 14th cohort

Beautiful People – Chris Brown
I Will Follow – James Taylor
Wagon Wheel – Old Crow
On the Road to Find Out – Cat Stevens
We Found Love – Rihanna
Rolling in the Deep – Adel
Yea 3x – Chris Brown
Small Wonders – Rob Thomas
Members Only – Bobby Bland
Love on Top – Beyonce
Simple – Ledisi
Ashes and Fire – Ryan Adams
Ordinary People – John Legend
Respect – Aretha Franklin
Glory – Jay-Z
Domino – Jessie J
God Bless the Broken Road – Rascal Flatts
It’s a Perfect Day – Hoku
Ruby Blue – Roisin Murphy
Give Me Your Love – Sylvia Striplin
One More Chance – Biggie Smalls
Lights. Camera. Action. – Mr. Cheeks*
Blackout – Breathe Carolina
Everybody’s Got Their Something – Nikki Costa
Ain’t it Funny – Jennifer Lopez
Awake My Soul – Mumford and Sons
Howling for You – The Black Keys
Set Fire to the Rain – Adele
Get it Right – Mary J. Blige and Taraji P. Henson
My Redeemer Lives – Nicole C. Mullen

* – not able to find song on YouTube

Click here for the MMI-14 YouTube Playlist

Book Challenge: Sing Them Home

Last year, in the midst of working on my dissertation, I read about the 52 book challenge. The challenger had to read (no…. was *able* to read) a book each week for an entire year.  Thankfully, I read that someone was doing a 26 book challenge. Half the books. THAT is my challenge, I thought! I moved forward, collecting ideas from friends and colleagues, old and new, and gathered all my post it notes and scraps of paper on which I’d scribbled titles of books over the last four years. I had well over a hundred books from which to narrow down my list to 26. I managed to narrow it down to 33. So, I’ll be reading a bit over a book every few weeks. You can find my list on my personal blog here.

Whilst gathering suggestions, I also loftily agreed to blog my reflections for the Standing Committee for Women. As a very new public blogger, I’m glad to have a clear purpose and some accountability to blog. After all, this is ADVENTURE (see my #OneWord2012 post)! My reflections may or may not include a summary and criticism of the book.

My first book was Sing Them Home (see citation at end of post). The book was lengthy (~540pgs), but engaging enough to easily read in chunks.

The book tells the story of a family, three adult children, a doctor father, and two best friends – one of whom is the wife and mother for the first part of their lives and the other of whom is the wife and mother for the second part of their lives. These two parts are separated by a tornado that creates a history of a town, and “sends up” the first best friend. How each of these people comes to understand his or her own story is what makes the book so rich.

In fiction, I like a good plot. But more importantly, I love good characters. I love well-developed characters who do not fit neatly into archetypes. The character development for the most of the characters in this book is excellent. I won’t go into great detail, though I could, but I will say that they are flawed and authentic, beautiful and mistaken, quirky and realistic. They each embody those quirky qualities that in real life we often hide, but Kallos spotlights them to hide the truth and realism that is situated in loss and doubt and heartache and life.

I love a good weather story, and this book, though not about weather, uses weather as metaphor. Weather is interesting and uncontrollable. But we make choices that can situate us to live within that unpredictability or to be taken away by it.

The book was timely in reminding me of one of the biggest messages I’ve learned about people. For all the structure, guidance, planning, and logic in life — people are messy. People are unpredictable and illogical and each one different. For every research study that says a person will do such and such a thing in a given circumstance, there are three that say the same person will do three different things.

People are messy. Life is messy. We make mistakes and we fail. And, that is why this time we have is interesting. And livable. And beautiful. I know this isn’t an ideal truth for others, but I try to accept this truth every day. Here’s how Kallos puts it,

It’s always fun to try to divide people into two groups, as in, “There are two kinds of people in the world: those who see the glass as half-empty and those who see it as half-full.”

Today I am thinking of another way to polarize humans: It seems to me that there are people in the world who are able to contain their lives, neatly, calmly. They create boundaries that allow them to function in whatever way is called for at the present moment. They ignore their children, for example, when that is an appropriate response. They pay their bills precisely at the same time every month, clean the bathroom on Wednesdays, plan a week’s worth of menus.

I am in the other category. There is spillage everywhere, even in the garden. When I’m angry at Llewellyn, I take it out on the rosemary bushes, which are spilling into the thyme bed, selfish rosemary bushes that I used to grow as a badge of my own virtue, since it is said that the virgin cast her cloak upon one.

Motherhood is messy in so many more ways than I expected. I chaos of emotions and laundry.  A life without boundaries, splitting at the seams and spilling over everywhere.

I am not a mother, but in the last many years, I have seen my friends love and struggle through motherhood. They strive to be the best mothers they can, and they pitch through guilt and anger and frustration and shame and embarrassment when they are not their best. One of loveliest aspects of the book is the idea that motherhood can be experienced and achieved in a number of ways, and is never perfect. And here’s the important message:

That’s ok. In fact, it’s more beautiful and meaningful that way. So, to my friends who are mothers, you are perfect just as you are. I love this message because I cannot speak from experience, so the book does it for me. It supports that we are all messy and flawed and that is life.

Kallos, S. (2009). Sing them home. New York, NY: Grove Press.

The Travelling Scarf ROC’s!

The Travelling Scarf ROC’s!
When I first put on the scarf the morning of January 18, I instantly felt some seriously positive energy around me, as well as the weight of womanhood and the responsibility that comes with being a part of such a powerful group of women. Immediately, she was put to the test!

As a Survivor Advocate for Rape Crisis Services, my phone rang at 7:00am with a hotline call. The scarf helped me provide strength and knowledge to a man who’s wife had recently been raped,as well as provide him with the resources that will help him and his partner continue to rebuild after the attack.

At work, the scarf gave me the strength to stay focused and be productive, as the only staff member overseeing service to17-counties for as long as my co-worker is out on maternity leave. She helped me provide valuable teaching moments for my intern, and stay focused on my duties.

During the lunch break, she reminded me to take time for myself. I reached out to my wedding caterer, our caterer is a nonprofit arm of the food bank my fiance and I met at, and reminded me how fortunate I am to be a woman in such a healthy, happy relationship. Not only is my partner open to me living hundreds of miles away to pursue my career dreams, he encourages it, growing up in a household with a woman "alpha" played a role in shaping the feminist male he is.

I also took time to notice the connection between the scarf and my wedding colors, purple and gold/yellow. Not a coincidence, these colors symbolize what generations of women before us struggled through to help us achieve basic human rights, and how, as a woman and human being, I am compelled to keep furthering these rights.

After work the scarf gave me the energy to take care of my health as I enjoyed a walk (through a crazy windstorm!) with my partner and 2 dogs (Remy and Wrigley). She stood in shock with me as I stepped on the scale only to find my healthy lifestyle change had led to a 13-lb. weight loss thus far! She also passed on her power to the next generation of female leaders as I held my co-workers month-old baby in my arms and she snuggled up to her.

Most importantly, she reaffirmed why I am a part of the SCW and reminded me that when I take the next step toward my career dream next week, I have the support of my sisterhood of women who share my passions, desires to empower women to be confident, strong leaders, and strong will. Thank you for coming to see me in Rochester this week, scarf. I know she will continue to bring the same positive energy with her moving forward in her travels.

Much Love,
Cassie

My experience with the SCW traveling scarf

Wow, was I fortunate to be wearing the traveling scarf on the day that I was. The day started off innocently enough and then turned into one of the most challenging days of my professional life. Having the scarf on really helped me stay grounded and remember the strength of my SCW support system!

Several nice people asked me about the scarf that morning, starting with my husband and ending with the barista at Starbuck’s J. Each time I was delighted to explain what was special about the scarf beyond its pretty appearance and everyone was intrigued about where she had come from and where she was going. Just as I was thinking it was going to be a delightful afternoon, chaos ensued and I ran from meeting to meeting putting out fires. Honestly, I totally forgot that I was wearing the scarf until I went to the bathroom about 6:00 pm and looked in the mirror. I was feeling unconfident, disempowered, bullied and dejected, and then I saw the scarf again. I was immediately reminded of the memories I have of the women of SCW and filled with their strength and caring.

The lesson I take away from this experience is to be more centered during times of stress. If I had noticed the scarf during the stressful moments themselves, I may have reacted more calmly in that moment. If had remembered my own strength and wisdom during those moments I would have felt more confident as well. I must be able to rely on myself for that calm rather than having to look outside of myself for it. Having the scarf on this day certainly did help me in doing that, though I think I have a long way to go. Thank you for the support and reminders, SCW women! You were helping me even when you didn’t realize it.

Ann James

Ann James

Associate Director of University Housing

Title IX Coordinator/Dean of Students Office

Northern Kentucky University

Office- 859-572-6972

Email- jamesa3

#OneWord2012: Intentional

For the past two months, I have been giving a lot of thought to engaging in the #oneword movement. Originally, I thought my word would be positive, but after reading the origins of the #onewordresolution, a new word hit pretty hard and covers a much broader range of what I would truly like to move towards in the 2012 year.

My #oneword2012 is intentional.
Taken from www.dictionary.com, the definition of intentional is as  follows:
in·ten·tion·al

adjective
1. done with intention or on purpose; intended: an intentional compliment.
2. of or pertaining to intention or purpose.
3. Metaphysics .
a. pertaining to an appearance, phenomenon, or representation in the mind; phenomenal;representational.
b. pertaining to the capacity of the mind to refer to an existent or nonexistent object.
c. pointing beyond itself, as consciousness or a sign.

This one word will motivate me to achieve more positive thinking by intentionally making time to do things that encourage me to think and focus on the positive aspects of life.  I will be more intentional about engaging regularly on twitter, blogging 2-3 times a month, journal 3 times a week, read material with positive content, and increase contact with friends and family that share a positive perspective.

I will be more intentional about being active. Walking from building to building on campus, or walking the dog down to the end of the street is no longer sufficient. I want more activity in my life, and I want to be more intentional about my activity by walking Snoopy around the block instead of just down the street, utilizing my many YogAmazing podcast that are FREE on itunes, using my Nike + GPS App to set challenges for myself so that I am intentionally getting faster, stronger, and averaging longer distances. I live in North Carolina, a state with skiing, mountains ripe for hiking, a beach, and areas to go white water rafting. I will be doing these things during my time in this geographically versatile state.

My one word, intentional, encourages me to be more focused on the faith in my life and how I harness, grow, and explore that faith.

In short, I want this year to be about intentionally living my life to the fullest. I do not want to wake up everyday and “hope” the day goes well. I want to make the day go well and challenge myself to be positive about the glorious people, events, and general things in my life (including my self-image).

Are you up for the #oneword challenge? Share your word with @NikiRudolph on Twitter and try a new style of resolution and motivation.

Check out more from Ciji at her personal blog: http://cijiann.wordpress.com/

Happy New Year and Blog News

We’re very excited for a fresh year here in the SCW. We have two new outstanding bloggers joining us (Welcome Ciji & Kim!) and some new themed posts coming your way! Look for upcoming #OneWord2012 posts, posts about work-life balance, book reviews, and posts celebrating our upcoming 40 Year Anniversary!

We encourage you to please comment to share your thoughts, ideas, and reflections. Thanks for reading and staying involved! Have a great 2012!

The Traveling Scarf: Bridget

The Traveling Scarf: Bridget

On New Year’s Eve, my husband walked out the front door of our house to check the mail and returned with a box in tow, saying, “Who do you know at Bowling Green?” I uttered a “Huh??” and then as soon as I saw Kerry’s name, I was so excited. The Traveling Scarf had arrived in Milmont Park, Pennsylvania – a tiny town in Delaware County right outside of Southwest Philadelphia – just in time for a trip to the NHL’s Winter Classic being hosted by the Philadelphia Flyers at Citizens Bank Park in South Philadelphia. Anyone who knows me, knows that I have remained very faithful to my Philadelphia roots (I’ve never lived more than an hour away from the City of Brotherly and Sisterly Love) and that I am a Philly sports fan through and through so the Traveling Scarf, in all her purple and gold glory, accompanied my Philly Flyers hooded sweatshirt & logo earrings as we made our way to the Flyers v. Rangers Alumni Game and towards a sea of orange and black (jersey, knit caps, sweaters, etc.).

I must admit that at first I was a little nervous about wearing the scarf. Philly sports fans are infamous for their enthusiasm and I was a little worried that she’d get wet with someone’s spilled drink as everyone jumped up for the first Fylers’ goal or that in the crowd she might slip from my neck and I’d lose her in the masses. I was planning to be fully protective of her, but in reality she was the one who offered me protection. As the sun went down and temperatures further dropped, my thermals, gloves, and other scarf just were not enough. I fully opened the Traveling Scarf and wrapped her around myself to stay warm. She was such a beautiful contrast to everything around me… delicate, resplendent, colorful against a back drop of cheering fans, a few Philly boos here and there, and the cold, gray sky. In that moment, I was reminded of all the wonderful aspects of sisterhood that she represents and felt very grateful for the comfort and warmth that other women have provided in my life.

After the game, the scarf and I had a quiet New Year. We counted down the last seconds of 2011 with family and friends over in Pennsauken, New Jersey and on New Year’s Day she took a break, neatly laid on my bedroom dresser to avoid absorbing the strong odor of pork, kielbasa, onions and sauerkraut coming from the kitchen as I prepared our traditional New Year’s Day dinner for my family.

When I returned to work following the holiday, one of my co-workers immediately asked about her assuming she was a Christmas gift. I recounted her story and shared SCW with my co-workers. As the day went on, my coworker asked if I was ready to let her go and put her in the mail. I was procrastinating so that I could draw in a little more of her comfort and warmth as I geared myself up for the end of the holiday break and the beginning of the semester ahead.

Bridget A. Haines-Frank

Assistant Dean of Students

Immaculata University

1145 King Road

PO Box 658

Immaculata, PA 19345

610-647-4400, Ext. 3138 (voice)

610-407-9754 (fax)

Believe in Yourself. Believe in Immaculata.

Faith:Caring:Service:Integrity:Learning:Teamwork

P Please consider the environment before printing this email

Introducing Blog Writer…. Kim Scott

Hi everyone! I am very excited to be blogging for the SCW blog. My name is Kim Scott and I’m an Area Coordinator at Northwestern University. I graduated with a Bachelors of Arts in Communication from Bowling Green State University and a Masters of Education from the University of Toledo. I spent a year working in housing at Boise State University before coming to Northwestern in 2007. In my free time I enjoy spending time with my family and reading.
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Welcome Kim! We look forward to reading your posts!

A Message from the Research and Education Committee

Throughout the past year, the directorate has engaged in conversations exploring SCW’s commitment to research initiatives. We see one of our many roles within ACPA to be supporting research, education, and dialogue surrounding gender and intersecting identities. We also would … Continue reading →

Create Possibilities with SCW in Louisville

SCW is looking forward to this year’s annual convention. Don’t forget to Pack Purple. We are asking all those in the SCW membership to wear purple on Tuesday during the convention, the day of our annual business meeting and the sisterhood social. If you don’t have a purple article of clothing, you can buy an SCW tshirt at the convention showcase for $5.

A new initiative for this year is a Family Friendly social, where all attendees and their families are invited to meet up. We will have Junior ACPA badges available at the hospitality table. Another family friendly initiative will be at convention showcase. The Standing Committee for Men will join us in providing face painting.

This year’s educational focus is Title IX. There will be a conference institute and a social in collaboration with ATIXA, the association for title IX administrators. Learn more about ATIXA at their organization website: www.atixa.org.

Do you know someone doing great work for women’s issues? Please think about nominating that person for one of scw’s annual awards. The four awards presented at the annual ACPA – College Educators International convention are the Outstanding Emerging Professional Award, the Research and Scholarship Award, the Ally Award, and the Wise Woman Award. The awards descriptions are outlined below. Please go to the following website to view the nomination packet: http://www2.myacpa.org/projects/2011-04-07-13-29-55.

Looking for a way to get involved at the convention? SCW need volunteers for variety of activities like staffing the family friendly social, monitoring sponsored programs, and helping with the sisterhood social. In January, we will share a website link for you to sign up to help.